Her life
Rebecca Jane was born on August 7th, 1978 at 7lb 8oz.
Becky was a beautiful bonnie baby, who was born at the Mercy Hospital. At birth she was diagnosed with a condition called spina bifida and was operated on within hours of her birth. She also developed hydrocephalus. Her life was a series of hospital visits to see specialists. Yet despite all this, Becky remained the happy and adored child she was. She grew so quickly and did all the usual things that babies do and grew more beautiful by the day. NB did you notice, 7/8/78 and 7lb 8oz?_ Becky's birth and death dates plus her birth weight, filled with repeating numbers and symbolism, reflect a powerful energy of compassion, healing, and change that reflects the Rebecca Jane Foundation’s vision and mission.
Her death
On June 3rd, 1979 – at 9 months, 3 weeks and 5 days, the unspeakable happened. Becky’s life ended. After a rush trip by ambulance to hospital, after many hours she died, or indeed had she already died at home? What followed was something akin to a nightmare, we had never had to organise a funeral before, we didn’t know where to start.
Our parish priest came along and told us our parish would pay for everything, I felt like I had been given a million dollars. I have never forgotten that kindness, it has, and will stay with me forever.
I want other parents, in a similar situation, to experience that feeling too. While it might have taken 39 years to happen, this is why the foundation was started. I know what it is like to wonder where you will find money from when you have none.
The aftermath
What I found remarkable, was no one knew what to do, what to say to us and many just avoided us altogether. What I now know is that there is nothing you can say, nothing you can do, except to just be there and if words fail you, a hug works just as well!
Becky is still part of my life, she is still my daughter and while I never ‘got over’ her death, I have learnt to live with it and yes, it is still part of me, although without so much of the pain and sorrow. I’m eternally grateful for the precious lessons her life (and death) taught me and the path that I have followed from that experience and now her living legacy.
Why I'm telling Becky's story
I am hoping that by bringing Becky's story to the public that it will raise awareness that even though my daughter died a very long time ago, she is still very much part of my life. I hope that people might start the conversation with someone again about a baby that was born too soon or had to leave before it had a chance to grow.
Only in the last couple of years, I found out that someone had remembered Becky's birthday every year, I wish I had of known that, for more years than I care to remember I thought no one remembered it. So please start the conversation, regardless of whether it was years ago or just recently, ask questions, my guess is that you probably don't realise how much it would mean to someone for you to do it.
The man who really started it all
I was able to travel to Queensland to meet up with Fr. Nick Just before the launch, because if it wasn't for his kindness, I would not be wanting to pay it forward so many years later. The photo sums up our whole time together, we spent an hour just smiling - it was one of life's most beautiful moments, we have promised to keep in touch!
Fr Nick believed that a family had endured enough of a burden in their child dying without having to suffer financial hardship as well, RJF has that exact same belief. He said how proud he was of me for starting the foundation, however, if it wasn't for his act of kindness for a young family.........
And now....
August 7th, 2018, was chosen to launch RJF, the day that would have been Rebecca Jane’s 40th birthday. I hope that by her 50th, the Rebecca Jane Foundation will be a household name and countless numbers of families will have benefitted from it. In fact it is my hope that Becky’s legacy, will live forever.